Feeling Versus Suffering - The Space Between with Brittany Mondido
Sep 11, 2024"Suffering isn't required to feel an emotion."
The duration of an emotion moving through the body varies; it can be a few moments in silence – of presence – yet, on average, emotions naturally last around 90 seconds in their purest form which means, once it arrives, it takes about 90-seconds for it to move through your body (like water moving through a hose; the water/emotion/energy arrives and wants to move. When it doesn't move it creates build up. When in public spaces, work, etc., connecting to your breath to regulate and being sure to schedule this time with yourself to move this energy later, ensuring your inner child that you'll return to it).
The energy just wants to be moved; it's not about feeling it, getting stuck in it and throwing you off track. It's here to help move energy, clear your channel and strengthen your resilience. The reason we suffer is because we aren't willing to feel most of what arrives and if/when we do, we get stuck in the story of it (the mind) rather than the sense (the body).
The "90-seconds" comes from neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor, who explains that when we experience an emotion, the chemical process triggered—such as a surge of adrenaline or cortisol—lasts about a minute and a half... A MINUTE AND A HALF! I say this excitingly because, I've sat in my 'stuff' for years or I'd avoid it. The relationship I have with healing shifted once I immersed myself in somatic work. I began to allow myself to feel more deeply and create safe spaces where I can feel the full FEEL. Feeling, for me, has always been scary because I've been very "heightened" since sliding out into the world (thanks Mom and Dad) and didn't know how to hold these big emotions that seemed SO HEAVY to hold...
It didn't feel safe to. I didn't know what to do with the emotions that came up so I tucked them away into a little backpack that turned into a very big backpack... and carried it around with me throughout my life. Yet, these emotions are not meant to be "held" and carried with us as much as they need to be held by us– the part of ourselves that seemed "too much" before.
The 'conflict' or more so the space between feeling an emotion and suffering arises from what happens after those 90 seconds– the inner-dialogue– and to be conscious of. If we continue to 'dwell' on the emotion, replay the situation in our minds (the story), or resist the feeling, we create the suffering.
I have a long history of suffering and had a (very) challenging time choosing different because I thought I needed to feel this way to feel it through when it was the story I was "at war" with and found myself looping and emotionally drained.
Story versus Sense: the emotion can feel heavy or burning, textured, etc. whereas the story is the story-- what is the story that's running in your mind that's like a whisper in the background directing your life. Notice the tone of the voice/thoughts and when it's loud and shouting, etc. it's the ego in panic.
"Suffering isn't a prerequisite for happiness." beautifully noted by the Author of A Moment In Silence.. (ME! hahah)
Overall, the suffering stems from attachment to the story or resistance to the emotion, rather than allowing it to pass through. Feeling emotions means fully acknowledging, accepting and experiencing them without judgment (this means with your witness on and redirecting your focus– setting boundaries and an intention when feeling an emotion through), while suffering is when we suppress or cling to those emotions and the story running.
Emotions are temporary– and it's important to create a safe space for yourself to fully experience your human experience– welcoming in emotions and parts of yourself as you come into wholeness. As long as you want any type of intimate relationship... feeling is required... the pleasure, the pain... all of it– the full range.. (not suffering).
THE NERVOUS SYSTEM and our body's reactions hold onto experiences—whether joyful, pleasure, or painful—in similar ways. This is due to emotional and physical blockages that form from past trauma or unprocessed emotions, which get stored in the body. Through somatic work, these stuck energies are released and with that space (now available) both pleasure and pain can be fully experienced, witnessed, and released. By staying present with these emotions and holding them as a child rather than "dragging them along with you", people can free themselves from the grip of suffering tied to both pleasurable and painful experiences.
THIS ISN'T EASY. It also doesn't have to be hard with loving support. You are becoming the holder of your life and what's needed is your willingness to explore– your curiosity alongside your witness being on is enough. It's not personal; it's the sovereign path– the spiritual evolution and journey you are on. May this find you and reach you– to remind you– of who you really are. Blessings to you, sweet Soul. I love you.
PRACTICE: Hold a blanket, pillow or yourself and rock yourself if that feels true; have a conversation with yourself with inquiry. You can practice self-distancing too: What is [insert name] feeling right now? What does he/she need to feel safe? Having open dialogue will support you in bridging the space between you and you = wholeness. And from this place, you become FULL... of life, of pleasure, of anything you want to experience. Day by day. Moment by moment. And change does happen quickly. It's all available to you and you do deserve it. I love you. Sweet blessings to and through.
TAKE A MOMENT IN SILENCE
A Moment In Silence invites you into the relationship that you have with silence;
It invites you into the relationship that you have with yourself.
A Moment In Silence is an invitation for you to connect to the part of you that is seeking your attention; your guidance and holding. It offers you s p a c e to see between each blink so you can see more clearly; the space between each breath, sentence and story. It offers you space to connect more clearly and to hear your own voice; not listening to what you can hear with your ears… yet what you can feel in your h(ear)t. . .
That is my prayer for you.
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